Is it safe here?

The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil

Proverbs 31:11

Before we really open up and get comfortable around people, there are a few questions we ask ourselves that make us hesitate: Will that person accept me for me?

I remember I was so afraid of rejection that I did not want to be my true self when I was around other people. What if they didn’t like the real me? The unfortunate thing was that hiding shielded me not only from the pain but also from the genuine relationships that lay on the other side of my fear. One friend asked me, “What do you have to lose? And what’s the worst that could happen? Be afraid and do it any way and then be over with it. If you benefit, awesome! If you don’t, at least you tried and you know for sure now instead of wondering and wondering your whole life.” That encouraged me to step out although it didn’t all happen in one day.

Another question we often ask when venturing into new relationships is this other question: Is it safe here?

You may have overcome your fear of rejection but that freedom doesn’t mean that you get to entertain people who enjoy cutting others down to feel good about themselves. Hurtful jokes, sarcasm, belittling and such are a few of the things such people are good at. This question is far more valid and good to consider because you want to be sure that you will not be scarred in your soul for allowing someone to treat you badly over and over again. The Bible says that a person who has friends or wants to make friends must first show himself to be friendly. Therefore if in the early stages of your relationship the said person starts to show you these negative traits that’s one sign that you are in bad company and you’re better off taking the next exit and avoid investing in any way big or small.

A safe person is someone who allows you to be vulnerable and weak without making you feel horrible about yourself. A safe person is someone who will be sensitive to your needs when you are low and rejoice with you when you breakthrough. A safe person will evolve with you and not hinder your progress. A safe person is not afraid to see you shine and your successes do not make such a person insecure. A safe person understands that each person has their own race to run and competition at a certain level is unnecessary.

So as much as men are looking for a safe woman to fall in love with, at least according to the Scripture above, women also need to find safe partners to also fall for. For some reason it seems that the women in the world these days are more adventurous and emotionally proactive and mature than their male counterparts. As much as it feels good to be some type of a savior to a negative and hurtful person you always have to remember that you can never be a better savior to anyone than Jesus Christ Himself. You are better off praying for them to grow in Christ than trying to be a second Jesus. In all things though, I pray that you will be led by the Holy Spirit of God and allow Him to keep you in the perfect and divine will of the Father.